Music Videos that Should Be Musicals

With the news that Michael Jackson's classic video for "Thriller" will soon become a musical, I got to thinking "What other music videos should hit the stage?" For the sake of not coming up with the obvious, I'm going to exclude songs coming from concept albums and anything else Michael Jackson has done. His music videos tend to have more plot than most Jason Statham movies.

So, here goes!

Outkast - The Whole World

Plot: Perhaps a musical version of Charlie Chaplin's classic The Circus. But with hip-hop more brightly colored outfits.

Rihanna - Rehab (link - embed disabled )

Plot: A one-woman show about psychosis... perhaps caused by listening to "Umbrella" a few too many times (she can call for an "S.O.S."!!!). Also, lots of skimpy outfits and washing cars. (Note: This description was originally written with the song "Disturbia" in mind. I didn't change it because, well, funny how things work out).

Blur - Coffee and TV

Plot: I don't care. I just want to see a singing and dancing person-sized milk carton.

Kanye West - Champion (link - embed disabled )

Plot: I do think there is something to Japanese puppet theater. Perhaps a Kanye-puppet-starring Rocky-esque musical featuring Kanye's discography as its soundtrack!? AND it has a social message having to do with discrimination and overcoming adversity!? Yes? YES?!?

Pink - Stupid Girls (link - embed disabled )
Plot: A hilarious slapstick comedy... meditation on the presentation of women in the... media... I still think this is a good idea.

Or maybe starting with musicians and ending with musicals might be a bad idea...

If Lyricists were Ice Cream Flavors

Bob Dylan: Chocolate

Chocolate is a very classic flavor, but you can still find surprises when mixed with various toppings or combined with other flavors.

Lil Wayne: Vanilla

Vanilla plays nice with other flavors like no other. Any topping you wanna put on it, any ice cream flavor you wanna scoop next to it will work just fine, whether it's crushed Oreos, caramel or Fall Out Boy.

Ryan Adams: Cherry Garcia

Unabashedly proud of being a rock'n'roll historian who mines the past for present inspiration. Also, Cold Roses has a bit of a Grateful Dead sound.

The Wu-Tang Clan: Neapolitan

Multiple flavors bangin' up against each other for some delicious shit.

Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam): Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Tastes very good, but the chunks of cookie dough and chips make chewing very necessary. Also having too much cookie dough results in "Bushleaguer" and other spoken-word songs.

Joe Strummer (The Clash): Coffee

Very wildly energetic, but sometimes you just want something simpler and smoother that doesn't make you get up and do so much.

Jarvis Cocker (Pulp): Mint Chocolate Chip

Always fresh and delicious with the chocolate always around to add some extra diversity to it.

Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy): Friendly's Ice Cream Sundae

So much ice cream and topping it could be argued that it's trying to pack too much into a small treat. And a banana either for flashing in his blog or impregnating Ashlee Simpson -- I can't decide which!

Kanye West: Vanilla frozen yogurt

Not a real ice cream.