"It's funny, but is it going to get them off their tractors?"
-Gammabot (of Futurama) evaluating a TV show
Oh, Hi there!
So, Let the Right One In, right? Like, fuck Twilight, right?
That's got to be the first thing lots of people in America thought upon seeing this movie. Unfortunately, that's only 5 words, not counting titles. I don't have any word limit, but, you know... Let the Right One In was a sweet movie. It's deliberately paced and has some wonderful acting and cinematography. But I do wonder if the movie would be so critically acclaimed if Twilight wasn't playing at the local multiplex down the road from it, its siren song like the world's loudest brown note.
Anyway, apparently an American remake is in the works, under the title Let Me In. From what I gather from interviews and shit (read: wikipedia), it's going to be based on the novel on which the original movie was based, but I don't know how different it will wind up. Obviously, it would be slicker in terms of production. Could they go for the Twilight crowd and tone down the gore? They could also make it gorier, too. Make its pace faster? Probably. This is all speculation on my part. It's being directed by the guy who helmed Cloverfield, so maybe they're going for more horror than Twilight-esque romance. All kinds of things can be done with this plot. It'll be interesting. They're at least changing the names of the names of the characters (instead of American-izing the spelling. Because why the fuck not, right?). But then, from wikipedia, I see this:
Producer Simon Oakes has made it clear that the plot of Let Me In will closely resemble that of the original, except that it will be made "very accessible to a wider audience".
Well, of course. Because this movie was so freaking impossible to understand. Let's see if you can make sense of it: a lonely boy (Oskar) is a social outcast, picked on by bullies. A girl (Eli) is lonely because she's a vampire. The two meet and strike up a friendship. Yadda yadda yadda, Eli's vampirism puts her in danger of being discovered and she must flee the town, but her mutual love with Oskar is deepening.
Sorry if I went too fast - those tweens get into so many complications! (Also, I yadda yadda yadda'd over some pretty cool shit.) But all joking aside, I understand why Hollywood insists on remaking any foreign film that isn't a European historical drama. A lot of America is averse to reading subtitles, and in other cases some places lack smaller cinemas that will show independent movies or indie flicks. I get that. For awhile, the trend of remaking Asian horror movies made some good bank, too. It makes total business sense, so I can't blame Hollywood for going to that well so often. (I actually think it's too bad the Battle Royale remake never came to fruition, because I would love to see how any American studio would handle that particular movie.)
So, with that in mind, here are some more ways that Let me In can changes things for an American audience:
With these suggestions in mind, I think America will get a Let the Right One In remake that plays to its sensibilities. Let the rest of the world have their subtitles or lips that don't match the words! This is America! We deserve better than that!
...this pretty much damns me into having to watch Let Me In to give it a fair chance, doesn't it?
-Gammabot (of Futurama) evaluating a TV show
Oh, Hi there!
So, Let the Right One In, right? Like, fuck Twilight, right?
That's got to be the first thing lots of people in America thought upon seeing this movie. Unfortunately, that's only 5 words, not counting titles. I don't have any word limit, but, you know... Let the Right One In was a sweet movie. It's deliberately paced and has some wonderful acting and cinematography. But I do wonder if the movie would be so critically acclaimed if Twilight wasn't playing at the local multiplex down the road from it, its siren song like the world's loudest brown note.
Anyway, apparently an American remake is in the works, under the title Let Me In. From what I gather from interviews and shit (read: wikipedia), it's going to be based on the novel on which the original movie was based, but I don't know how different it will wind up. Obviously, it would be slicker in terms of production. Could they go for the Twilight crowd and tone down the gore? They could also make it gorier, too. Make its pace faster? Probably. This is all speculation on my part. It's being directed by the guy who helmed Cloverfield, so maybe they're going for more horror than Twilight-esque romance. All kinds of things can be done with this plot. It'll be interesting. They're at least changing the names of the names of the characters (instead of American-izing the spelling. Because why the fuck not, right?). But then, from wikipedia, I see this:
Producer Simon Oakes has made it clear that the plot of Let Me In will closely resemble that of the original, except that it will be made "very accessible to a wider audience".
Well, of course. Because this movie was so freaking impossible to understand. Let's see if you can make sense of it: a lonely boy (Oskar) is a social outcast, picked on by bullies. A girl (Eli) is lonely because she's a vampire. The two meet and strike up a friendship. Yadda yadda yadda, Eli's vampirism puts her in danger of being discovered and she must flee the town, but her mutual love with Oskar is deepening.
Sorry if I went too fast - those tweens get into so many complications! (Also, I yadda yadda yadda'd over some pretty cool shit.) But all joking aside, I understand why Hollywood insists on remaking any foreign film that isn't a European historical drama. A lot of America is averse to reading subtitles, and in other cases some places lack smaller cinemas that will show independent movies or indie flicks. I get that. For awhile, the trend of remaking Asian horror movies made some good bank, too. It makes total business sense, so I can't blame Hollywood for going to that well so often. (I actually think it's too bad the Battle Royale remake never came to fruition, because I would love to see how any American studio would handle that particular movie.)
So, with that in mind, here are some more ways that Let me In can changes things for an American audience:
- More slow-mo. Emotions are too fleeting - I need time to register my sadness
- One-liners. Eli should be making bad vampire puns every 3-4 lines in her scenes (Oskar: Would you like Twizzlers? Eli: No fang-k you!)
- Oskar should get into a kung-fu fight scene within the first 30 seconds of Let Me In, just to get your attention. He should lose, though, because his character's a wimp
- It takes place in the early 1980s. Each scene should be devised around a pop culture reference from the 80s - the failest decade! lmao!
- All of Eli's vampiric attacks should be more gory than anyone would imagine
- The amount of body glitter is indirectly proportional to how much your plot needs to make sense. (Not a suggestion, just some math to keep in mind)
- Can Oskar have a wisecracking (ethnic?) best friend to provide comedic moments? You damn well right he can!
With these suggestions in mind, I think America will get a Let the Right One In remake that plays to its sensibilities. Let the rest of the world have their subtitles or lips that don't match the words! This is America! We deserve better than that!
...this pretty much damns me into having to watch Let Me In to give it a fair chance, doesn't it?
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